Gonna try!

I'm impulsively putting up a short post because I really want to update this and keep it up. Not necessarily always as a place to talk shit about whoever The Bachleor is right now, but maybe as a kind of diary to look back on too. I have paper journals where I furiously scribbled out heartbreaking shit when I was depressed and even though they're really sad and kind of embarrassing to read, they're also sort of fascinating as a time capsule- so it'd probably be awesome to have something to look back on reflecting a time when I didn't want to be hit by a bus. So listen up, Kristen! Post some shit about how you got your eyebrows threaded today and you accidentally burped but had to hold it in, or how Ryan made you dinner while you watched The X-Files then you ate it under a blanket, or how Chloe circled around like she was going to lie down but threw up instead. Put up some pictures. And Jesus Christ do the dishes already, the kitchen's a mess.

Here's a post about the Golden Globes, which I didn't watch

3 hours of unnecessary back-patting and dresses that are only test runs for the Academy Awards?  No thanks.  But according to reliable source The Internet, the Hollywood elite are mad at Ricky Gervais for zinging them and The Internet seems to think he's a hero.  

So that all happened.  By the way, how confusing is Robert Downey Jr.?  I know he's a good actor and I like him, but he's also a little insufferable, right?  Barf, you're an articulate bad boy, yack.

It wasn't all funny and sometimes it was cheap, but apparently a lot of people shot off stink-eyes from the crowd or lame responses onstage...COME ON.  I realize that celebrities are generally huffy babies surrounded by Yes Men but they should really be able to muster a smile at something that's not a compliment, if only for the cameras.  Besides, the Golden Globes are just supposed to be the Oscars' drunk second cousin anyway...do you really want to take yourselves that seriously at an awards show where Burlesque won something?  Again, a thing I haven't seen, but the poster looked like shit and I heard Veronica Mars doesn't even solve anything in it.

I'm just thinking these stars better work on building up thicker skins by the time the Academy Awards roll around.  Lord knows they're going to be eviscerated by the lethal one-two punch of Franco and Hathaway...I hear she makes Don Rickles look like Bill Cosby.  In Ghost Dad.  Never seen it.

Hey Gwyneth Paltrow,

WE GET IT.  You have a sense of humor, you drink beers, you don't just speak Italian and wear organic cashmere that your dear friend made and eat kale, yadda yadda.  Just go relax, quit the I'm Normal! Campaign 2011 and stop being the worst.  I didn't buy it when Angelina took off her blood vial necklace and picked up a baby and I ain't buying it now.  At least when she's talking about juice cleanses in a vaguely British accent I can tell that's her natural state; I take offense to her goofing around and smiling with teeth when I know full well her heart is at home naming kids weird names. Here's the straw that broke the camel's back (I'm a camel), from People.com:

Ask Cee Lo what he thought ofGwyneth Paltrow's version of his hit song on Glee, and he responds with an F-word.
Fantastic.
"She sings like a natural," says Cee Lo, who was so impressed that he and Paltrow have recorded a new version of "F---- You."
They were at work at studio MSR in New York over the weekend and again on Monday afternoon, he tells PEOPLE exclusively.
And that's not the end of it. They'll meet again when Paltrow hosts Saturday Night Live on Jan. 15 when Cee Lo performs.

In unrelated news, Saturday Night Live to air super annoying episode on Jan. 15.